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    My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with horse racing.

    She's reach the gate.... and she's off!!!
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

    Comment


      I once did some research and found that 8 out of 10 women use Pantene in the shower. The other two screamed and asked me to get out of their bathroom.
      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

      Comment


        For MF

        I went to the doctors today and he said,

        " Your too fat, ever thought about walking 2 miles to lose weight."

        So i tried it, now i dont mind doing it cos 2 miles from my house is a chip shop
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          For the spelling Nazis

          T.V advert says, It's not Christmas without M & S.
          I know, then it would be Chrita.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Interesting perspective

            I don't understand Christians.
            They say that gambling is wrong, but they bet their entire life on there being a heaven.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              For MP

              I just changed my g string tonight for the first time in 8 months.












              I also changed my a, d, b, low e and high e strings too, guitar sounds so much better now.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                proper fathering

                Ironing done.

                Hoovering done.

                Washing done.

                Dusting done.

                Kids bathed.

                Kids in bed.

                Perfect!






                Now I can leave the pub.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  for our bremainers

                  How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?






                  None, they just smash up the whole room because they didn't vote for a broken bulb.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    NSFW

                    A man asks his wife if he can cum in her ear .
                    She says, " No, I'll go deaf. "

                    He says , " Funny , I always cum in your mouth and you never shut up. "
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I wouldn't say it's easy living with erectile dysfunction.

                      But it's not hard.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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