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Please put more jokes here

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    it was sickipedia.

    What's the difference between Gary Glitter and Buzz from Toy Story?

    Only one of them goes limp when a child walks in a room.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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      "Hello everyone, and welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous"
      "I see a lot of new faces in here tonight"
      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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        Buzz and Woody; two toys both you and your mum had in the late 90s.
        The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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          Midge Ure wanted to call his daughter Fail. But he was told that Fail Ure wasn't an option.
          “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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            The seven dwarfs are walking past the only convent on their island, when Dopey boasts about having slept with a midget nun. Grumpy doesn't believe him, so walks up to the convent and knocks on the front door.
            "Hello Mother Superior, do you have any midget nuns in your convent?" Grumpy asks.
            "No, we do not," Mother Superior replies.
            "Are you absolutely sure?" presses Grumpy.
            "Absolutely sure my child," assures the senior nun. "I've run this convent for 25 years and we've never had a midget nun here."
            Grump walks back to the others, breaks into the first smile he's ever had and starts chanting, "Dopey f**ked a penguin, Dopey f**ked a penguin!"
            The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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              POST OFFICE. Save a fortune on 'sorry we missed you' cards, by simply waiting a few moments after you've knocked someone's door.
              “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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                You think our budget was bad? Jesus hasn't worked in Israel for 2000 years; last time he was there he got hammered with tacks.
                The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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                  I'll never forget my grandfather's last words........."Stop shaking the ladder you little bastard!!"
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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                    Recreate the thrill of the Pamplona Bull Run by dropping 50p in Greggs!
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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                      I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
                      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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