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  1. #5291

    King of updation

    TestMangler's Avatar
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    Last week I organised a surprise bukakke party for the wife.

    Loads of people came.

    You should have seen her face !!
    I swear on the wet head of my first case of gonorrhoea, there is his ugly voice that I forever fear...

  2. #5292

    Suffers Fools...Badly!

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    What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?
    Fission Chips....
    “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits!"

  3. #5293

    キツネの帽子をかぶる

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    Based on what's happening in London today, it's time to dig up that old joke again...


    I entered a marathon once.


    ...got peanuts stuck under my foreskin.
    0. Absolute Power corrupts absolutely. Moderator Power corrupts moderately.
    1. I have a low tolerance level for idiots.
    2. You have to earn my respect, demanding it won't work.

  4. #5294

    I live on CUK

    vetran's Avatar
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    I came home steaming drunk at 3 in the morning.

    My wife pointed at the clock and said, "What fsking time do you call this?"

    So I explained to her again about the big hand and the little hand.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  5. #5295

    I live on CUK

    vetran's Avatar
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    I had just made myself a nice cup of tea and sat down when my wife came in, pulled her clothes off and said, "Take me right now." So I pleasured her right there on the sofa, having the best sex of my life.
    After we'd finished, she lay in my arms and said, "Don't forget your cup of tea".
    "I'll just let it cool down, it's still too hot," I said
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  6. #5296

    I live on CUK

    vetran's Avatar
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    An old lady went to the dentist. She sat in the chair, lowered her bloomers and raised her legs.

    The dentist said, "Excuse me Madam I'm not a gynaecologist."

    "I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.”
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  7. #5297

    I live on CUK

    vetran's Avatar
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    Default AssSnob's new job

    Bumped into an old friend,what you doing now? I asked.
    "Pharmacist" he said.
    Wow I never thought you'd have the brains for that!
    What,mucking-out stables and feeding pigs,piece of piss really.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  8. #5298

    I live on CUK

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    If you think dogs can't count,

    Put 3 biscuits in your pocket then give him only 2.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  9. #5299

    I live on CUK

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    I spent half an hour licking the wife's pussy last night.

    She screamed 'put that ******* cat down you pervert, it can clean itself'
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

  10. #5300

    I live on CUK

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    After I had yet another penis enlargement, my wife left me:

    "I just can't take it any longer" she cried.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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