Please put more jokes here

[LondonManc]

Years ago I used to supply filofaxes for the mafia. I was involved in very organised crime.

[LondonManc]

Hopefully I’ve got a book coming out soon. Shouldn’t have eaten it, really.

[LondonManc]

I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants. He was called Wedgie Kray.

[LondonManc]

My next-door neighbour worships Italian exhaust pipes; turns out he's a Catholic converter.

[LondonManc]

I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov and there was a checked tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the bloody salt.

[LondonManc]

Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says: "Oi - get out. We don't want your type in here."

[LondonManc]

I saw a couple snuggled up on a park bench wrapped in a bar code. I presumed that they were an item.

[LondonManc]

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.

[LondonManc]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

[shaunbhoy]

The inventor of inappropriate innuendos has died.
The family are taking it really hard!