• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
    If I'm ever feeling down I just type: "Yo are the best" into Google. Then it responds: "I think you mean: 'You are the best'" and I feel much better.
    Erm.. Does it?
    'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

    Comment


      Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
      Erm.. Does it?
      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

      Comment


        My dad's favourite saying was "Always leave them wanting more". Certainly explains why he got sacked by Oxfam.
        The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

        Comment


          I've never understood what posh people who like gangster rap aspire to achieve? A drive-by pheasant shooting perhaps?
          The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

          Comment


            I'll tell you what separates the men from the boys. Operation Yewtree.
            The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

            Comment


              Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets. Then it hit me.

              Comment


                I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

                Comment


                  One thing you’ll never hear a Hindu say... "Ah well, you only live once."
                  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                  Comment


                    The three wise men are out for a stroll when they come across a stable. The three of them decide to duck inside.

                    On the way in one of the wise men hits his head on the low entranceway.

                    "Jesus Christ!" he says.

                    Joseph says, "Quick, Mary, write that down! It's a hell of a lot better than Clyde!"

                    Comment


                      What do you call a Sikh karaoke participant?


                      Gerupta Singh
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X