• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Originally posted by ccole View Post
    What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
    It gets toad away.
    No Christmas cracker jokes after Jan 6th please.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

    Comment


      Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
      No Christmas cracker jokes after Jan 6th please.
      I don't get it.
      'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

      Comment


        Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
        I don't get it.
        It's so cheesy, it belongs in a Christmas cracker.
        The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

        Comment


          The fastest reflex in the human body is the one between not being able to find something and claiming someone else has moved it.
          “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

          Comment


            I for one......but that's roman numerals for you.
            “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

            Comment


              Thought for the day: If you say something and your wife cannot hear you, are you still wrong?
              The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

              Comment


                Guy goes into a fancy dress shop and goes to the vampire section. Girl behind the counter says.."Maybe you should try the Man City shop across the street". Guy says "I'm sorry, you must have misheard me. I said I wanted to dress like a count".
                The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                Comment


                  Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
                  I don't get it.
                  you should be able to afford it at NLYUK's prices.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    What do the LAPD and Ronnie O'Sullivan have in common?

                    Average shot time: 16 seconds. Less on the black.



                    ouch.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I had my first UFO experience earlier. I walked into the kitchen and said to the wife 'Morning fat arse'

                      Next thing i knew there were flying saucers coming at me from ******* everywhere
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X