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Please put more jokes here

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    The England team is like Taylor Swift,
    new man in, all sounds promising, out on his arse after 2 months. She'd have a song about him out by Friday.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      I bumped into an old mate today.
      He said, "What you up to these days?"
      I said, "I prepare meals for the homeless, druggies, piss heads and down 'n' outs."
      He said, "So you work in a charity drop in centre?"
      I said, "No, I'm a chef in a Wetherspoons pub."
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        Would the National Anthem be considered as Country Music?
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          It was Bazza the Scouse smackhead's 18th birthday, so his mum and dad put £50 in his nan's purse for him.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            My sex change operation from male to female went really well yesterday.
            It was so successful, I'm still trying to reverse out the f**king hospital car park!
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I was in a shop yesterday and saw a fire blanket for sale.
                I thought, "That's ******* pointless, fires are warm enough as it is."
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Sam Allardyce takes his next training game with the England squad when he notices a dog turd on the pitch.
                  He shouts out, "Who's tulip on the pitch"?
                  Wayne Rooney shouted back, "I am boss, But I'm still the captain....
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    For NLYUK

                    "Give it to me!" she yelled
                    "I'm so f**king wet, give it to me now!"

                    She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella to myself.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.
                      He said, " Only if you make up the time."
                      I said, " OK. It's 35 past 50."
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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