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Please put more jokes here

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    When a woman says "He used me for sex".

    It really means 'I only shagged him to get something else out of him, but it failed'.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      I sidled up to a woman at the bar and said "hey love, what's your name?"

      She glanced at me and said "Cath"

      "Nice" I said "I love the name Catherine"

      She rolled her eyes at me and said "bad luck then, my full name is Catheter"

      I think she might be a piss taker
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        My girlfriend was in the kitchen cooking tea when all of a sudden a horrible whining noise started.

        I thought that wasn't suppose to happen till we're married.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          Joe Cocker has died.
          I reckon the police should check out if there was a little help from his 'friends'.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            Whenever someone plays a rap song, I have the feeling I've heard it before.

            My Doctor says I've got Dre-ja-vue.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Why don't muslims drink alcohol?

              Their women have burqas instead.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                For Christmas my daughter said she wants loads of 'Frozen' stuff.

                Sorted, peas and carrots it is.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  It's always flattering to be told you have a nice arse.

                  Unless it's during a prostrate examination.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    Pokemon - A Jamaican proctologist.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      "A large whiskey please." I said to the barman today.

                      "Hang on a minute, Dave." he replied, "You promised me last night that your lips will never touch another glass!"

                      "Correct." I said, "Pass me a ******* straw."
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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