Please put more jokes here

[Swiss Tony]

Ar

The atomic symbol for Pirate

[BrilloPad]

New High School Exit Exam!!

(Passing requires 4 correct answers)

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get cat gut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?



Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.

Check your answers below ..



ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years



2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador



3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses



4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November



5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur



6) The Canary Islands in the Atlantic are named after what animal? Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert



8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson



9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand



10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)



What do you mean, you failed? Me, too.

[BrilloPad]

What does maths stand for? Mentally affected teachers harassing students

[BrilloPad]

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
Groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2 The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
Spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

[Swiss Tony]

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

[Swiss Tony]

I was about to text my geordie mate with an April Fool joke about Kevin Keegan going back to Newcastle.

Mike Ashley beat me to it with an even better one.

[Swiss Tony]

Manchester City have sold Shaun Wright-Phillips to Madonna.

[Swiss Tony]

G20 News...................... The French have surrendered! The Americans have finally arrived!

Remind you of anything?

[Swiss Tony]

2 cows in a field...

Cow 1- "Where have U been?"

Cow 2- "I've just been and had that artificial insemination thingy."

Cow 1- "U never have!"

Cow 2- "Yeah, straight up, no bull."

[Swiss Tony]

I see that a £1billion stealth boat the Royal Navy has developed is detected on radar screens to be the size of a rowing boat.

Fantastic! I'm sure our enemies wont raise an eyebrow when their radar screens show a small rowing boat 3000 miles from land travelling in excess of 32 knots.

This country, honestly.