What's the difference between a thirsty Ethiopian who hasn't seen water for four days and an Irishman on Saint Patricks day when they get to a drink?
The Ethiopian will stop drinking eventually.
The Ethiopian will stop drinking eventually.
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Clarissa Dickson Wright known as The Two Fat Ladies chef dies age 66.
That will be 22 years too early then.Comment
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I went into the library and asked for a book on suicide
The librarian said: get lost, you won't bring it back!
I'm joking, she gave me the qu'ranComment
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Last night I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours...
but then I realised I'd just put my hoodie on backwards.Comment
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I said to the doctor, "I'm worried as whenever I go to visit my mother she gets my name wrong."
He looked up at me sympathetically and asked, "Is it Alzheimer's?"
I looked back at him in disgust and replied, "No, It's Steve."Comment
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I don't understand my girlfriend sometimes, I came home this evening to find this note on the fridge.
'It's not working. I'm sorry, but I've gone to stay at my parents house...'
I opened it, the light came on and the beer was still cold.
What the hell is she on about?!Comment
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I turned down the opportunity to take over my dad's hat shop to become a game show host.
Who wants to be a milliner heir.Comment
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I am always there at the critical moment in time of an alcoholics life if they feel the need to drink.
I have an off licenceComment
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Being in South Africa it wouldn't surprise me if they convict Oscar Pistorius's legs, because they're black.Comment
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Norfolk has the fastest piano players in the UK.
I can see why. They've got more fingers than the rest of us.Comment
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