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Please put more jokes here

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    The rooster teaches us it is perfectly natural to start your day with a couple of screams.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Originally posted by vetran View Post
      My friends were all eating fruits from a pyrus tree, and they all kept telling me to try some too!

      But I don't give in to pear pressure
      I had a similar issue in the House of Lords. Judgmental bastards.
      Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

      Comment


        The bottle of vodka said, "Drink responsibly."

        So I drank it while completing my tax return.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I think shredded cheese should be banned in England.

          Make Britain grate again.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I've just heard the window cleaner shouting and swearing outside my house.

            I think he's lost his rag.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Apparently, in their relationship, Amber Heard was the only one who gave a tulip,
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                What does a Jedi Master have for breakfast in Italy?

                Only one cannoli.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I'm going to eat different types of bread all week.


                  Roll on Friday.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    My dyslexic mate has just joined tinder!


                    He hasn't found any dates yet, only chocolate eggs with little toys inside
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      The council refused us permission to close our road for a Jubilee street party. So lateral thinking was required.

                      We're paying druggies to glue themselves to the road, pretending to be Extinction Rebellion, until we finish.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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