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Please put more jokes here

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    Equality time

    Did you know that GJabs is really a well known movie actor?

    Apparently he's been in A Few Good Men.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      me: how can i come across as smarter to my date?
      barman: add ologist to your job title
      [later]
      date: so what do you do?
      me: i'm an unemployedologist
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        In The News: An 89-year-old pensioner was taken to the wrong house by ambulance and tucked up in a strangers bed.

        Meanwhile, Wayne Rooney has made another generous donation to his local ambulance service.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I beat a chess grandmaster with only three moves.

          He was tulip at karate.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Surprised no jokes about Prince Phillip's funeral Land Rover crashing into a Ford Kia.
            bloggoth

            If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
            John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

            Comment


              Robert De Niro is set to star in a Hollywood epic about the life of Wayne Rooney.

              It is called The Old Dear Hunter
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                A psychiatrist at an institute for the criminally insane is assessing a patient with a Rorschach Test. The first image he shows him is a dot inside a circle. He asked the patient "what do you see"?

                The patient says "I see a group of midgets having a gang bang with a Japanese prostitute in school uniform."

                Next image the psychiatrist shows him is that of a dot inside a square. The patient says "I see an elderly man with genital herpes 69ing with an unusually flatulent Mexican señorita".

                The next image the doctor shows him is a triangle with a dot outside. The patient turns to the psychiatrist and says "what are you some kind of pervert"?
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  After decades of unsatisfying relationships with women and only enjoying hiring prostitutes I have realised that I am buysexual.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    For Xoggy

                    Nice touch having Prince Philip taken to the church on the back of a Land Rover. I wonder if they’ll have Prince Andrew buried in a 15 year old Escort?
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Congratulations to NASA on the success of their first drone flight on Mars.

                      Although London Heathrow did close down for an hour as a precaution.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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