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Please put more jokes here

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    Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
    He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
      “Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
        “Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and …..... cola.”
          “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
            He was just going through a stage.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Why did the chicken go to the séance?
              To get to the other side.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                How do you drown a hipster?
                Throw him in the mainstream.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
                  The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
                    It’s two gross.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Pick a band whose drummer is still alive.'

                      'Yes?'

                      'No.'
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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