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Please put more jokes here

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    I went to the Cinema the other day. The man sat in front of me had his dog with him. The dog seemed to be really engrossed in the film. He was laughing and smiling throughout the movie. When the film ended I said to the owner "This might sound wired but your really seemed to enjoy that."

    "Yes I was surprised too, He hated the book".
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      '...It was 7-years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room with tears streaming down his face shouting “It’s a boy, it’s a boy.” We never did go back to Pattaya, Thailand for a holiday.'
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I got everything I needed for Halloween and Christmas in the one shop.

        Beer.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you piss off the French.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            It always makes me feel Christmasy when you go to the supermarket and see the easter eggs on the shelves.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Can't believe Mumsnet haven't sued the creators of Angry Birds for copyright infringement.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I’ve applied for a job at MI6. They’ve asked for my resume with an undercover letter
                {emotionless greeting}

                Three Word Slogan

                Comment


                  10 years ago a bloke came up to me in the pub. He told me to invest in beef, chicken and vegetable stocks.

                  I wish i'd listened to him. He's a bouillonaire now.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I got pulled over by the police last night. "I have reason to believe you've been kerb crawling Sir," he said.

                    "I've followed you along this road at twenty miles an hour and you've stopped five times."

                    "Just get off my bus, you idiot," I told him.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I once cut myself on a barbed complement slip.
                      Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

                      Comment

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