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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
    Whooosshhh

    Thats the sound of ironing going over a mod's head.
    Ironing doesn't go over my head.
    {emotionless greeting}

    Three Word Slogan

    Comment


      For NLyUK

      I don't like the term 'Anal Bleaching'.

      I prefer to call it 'changing my ringtone'.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        A man was sitting next to a woman who was trying to breast-feed her child. The child however refuses to suck on the breast.
        Being frustrated, the mother threatens the child, "If you don't suck on, I will give it to the man next to us!" The child still refuses to oblige. After about 10 minutes of failed effort to get her child to breastfeed, the woman threatens her child again.
        Finally the man clears his throat and says, "Can you make your ******* mind up !!" " I was supposed to get off 6 stops ago!"
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          too true

          Vince Cable believes Donald Trump's state visit should be cancelled because his racism might embarrass the Queen.

          For ****'s sake, she's married to the Duke of Edinburgh!
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            My missus disappeared suddenly three weeks ago, the Police have been round today and told me to prepare myself for the worst.

            So I've had to go back to the Charity shop and buy all her clothes back.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              RYANAIR: Stop your pilots going on strike by charging them £10 for the ballot paper.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                For Brillo

                An extremely fugly bloke came up to me with two kids, I said "Are they twins"?
                he replied "No, one's five and the other's seven, why, do you think they are alike"?
                I said "No, I just can't believe that you were shagged twice"
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I'm a second hand vegetarian.

                  Cows eat grass.
                  I eat cows
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    LIVEN up your local library by hiding all the books on anger management.
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment


                      Went into the barbers today and said...
                      "I'd like my hair cut like Tom Cruise"
                      He picked me up under my arms and sat me on a cushion.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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