Please put more jokes here

[shaunbhoy]

Elton John's party trick is to name all the English counties in alphabetical order. Surrey seems to be the hardest word.

[shaunbhoy]

"Reach for the Stars" sang S Club 7 but let me tell you if you lunge at one of them on a red carpet their security goes nuts.
Bloody liars.

[BrilloPad]

I keep missing my ex wife. Though my aim is improving.

[shaunbhoy]

My girlfriend decided to wear a Rangers top to gauge the public reaction.
Today is her first day and she's been sworn at, spat at, punched, kicked up the backside and received death threats.
God knows how bad it will get when she eventually leaves the house.

[shaunbhoy]

Boss: The works transit's been scratched. It may have been John, your cat.
Me: John clawed van? Damn!
Boss: Less likely, but I'm not ruling anyone out.

[shaunbhoy]

I was telling my doctor earlier how my tennis elbow was really hurting.
She said "how many years have you had it for?"
I said "15 Love"

[WTFH]

Prince Charles just saw the headline “Monarch ceases trading” and got very excited.

[WTFH]

Leigh-on-Sea, help boost tourism by re-branding as Leyoncé

[BR14]

two glasweigans passing a bakers shop.
one looks in the window and says 'jimmy! - is that a cake or a meringue?'
jimmy says 'naw, yer right! - it's a cake'

[shaunbhoy]

The missus caught me looking at naughty films on the computer, and said if she ever caught me again she'd ram my head into the keyboard.
I think she's gone to bed so I should be safehuyvvjjgvfgjkjnbvcvbkuhgrdvnkuhnm,Oitedvbuynmi hn,outrcbjkkuhjjiutbniiuikoijmkkiuyfvbnkuyhnmjutrf vhuyhn....