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Please put more jokes here

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    Have you ever wondered about those people who pay a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water?
    Try spelling Evian backwards!.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      First rule of Vegan club.

      Tell ******* everyone about Vegan club.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        one for AssGuru

        Have you ever met someone for the first time, and immediately had an overwhelming desire to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          -I totally failed Safety and Health course today…
          -How did you manage to do that?
          -Well, one of the questions was, “in the event of a fire, what steps would you take?”
          -And?
          -“****ing large ones” was apparently the wrong answer.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            For NLYUK

            I used to date an opera singer, but it didn't work out.

            She was all mi, mi, mi.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Scientists say, that one day, it may be possible to live on Mars.
              What a load of rubbish.
              I tried it for a month, gained nearly 3 stones in weight and developed, type 2 diabetes.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                We must end plagiarism.

                You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.

                Comment


                  Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
                  We must end plagiarism.

                  You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.
                  Milton Jones - Mock The Week
                  {emotionless greeting}

                  Three Word Slogan

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by vetran View Post
                    I got an odd-job man in.

                    He was useless.

                    Gave him a list of eight things to do and he only did numbers one, three, five and seven.
                    Hats off to him though.
                    Best Forum Advisor 2014
                    Work in the public sector? You can read my FAQ here
                    Click here to get 15% off your first year's IPSE membership

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                      Milton Jones - Mock The Week
                      Whooosshhh

                      Thats the sound of ironing going over a mod's head.

                      Comment

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