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Please put more jokes here

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    for the laydeez

    The wizard of oz is the ultimate chick flick, two women trying to kill each other over a pair of shoes.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I heard dolphins and humans are the only two animals that have sex for fun.

      Since hearing this, I have been banned from Sea World.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Can we all just stop telling women to get back in the kitchen?

        There's laundry to be done, too.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Women say magazines demean them and portray an unrealistic image of beauty therefore making ordinary females feel inadequate.













          Then they buy 12 inch dildos.....
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            My dad has a weird hobby, he collects lots of empty cans and bottles.
            That sounds so much better than ‘alcoholic’.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              My daughter has just got her degree in ballet.

              She got a 2:2
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                My missus said that she has an upset stomach. It's probably depressed because it's so fat I replied.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Gastroenteritis hits World Athletics Championships

                  All the sprinters have the runs
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I was asked to leave the swimming pool the other day because I had an embarrassingly large bulge in my swimming trunks.
                    In protest I said "That guy over there has a large bulge in his trunks, but he's not being thrown out, why"?
                    "Quite simple" replied the pool attendant, "He hasn't tulip himself"
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      For our Divorcees

                      "Tesco to stop selling 5p plastic bags in favour of 10p 'bags for life'"
                      I can't recommend it. I had a bag for life, and when I divorced her, she took me to the cleaners.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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