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Please put more jokes here

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    What did the Cannibal do after he ate his girlfriend?
    He Dumped her!
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      We now live in an age where it's more important to delete history, than it is to make it.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        All men marry nymphomaniacs.

        Then after a few years the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I went into sports direct on Tuesday and asks for some condoms and KY jelly.

          "We are a sports shop." said the assistant.

          On Wednesday I asked for a dual action 12 inch black dildo, on Thursday, some anal beads and a gimp mask, on Friday some love eggs and a whip. Always with the same reply.

          Saturday as I walked in the assistant took me to one side and said "mate you keep coming in and it's getting embarrassing you know we are a sports shop, what the **** do you really want?"

          I summoned up all my courage took a deep breath and said "can I have a Liverpool home shirt please."
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            When you think about it life is all about perspective.

            I mean the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              for the Bremainers

              I'm emotionally constipated.

              I haven't given a tulip in days.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                BrilloPad was telling me that in the last week he has started writing poetry.

                After 6 days he's only got the R and Y left to do.
                {emotionless greeting}

                Three Word Slogan

                Comment


                  I saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman the other day.
                  He was wearing a cat flap.
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                  Comment


                    Dog 1: Help me with this crossword clue. Outer covering of a tree. 4 letters.
                    Dog 2: woof?
                    Dog 1: You're not even trying!
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment


                      I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

                      He said "thank you"

                      I said "don't mention it"
                      {emotionless greeting}

                      Three Word Slogan

                      Comment

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