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Please put more jokes here

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    Can't believe there's so much people out there who believe that Santa exists.
    They're so stupid that they can't realize that he's just a fictitious character made-up just for profit.

    God forgive them.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      For MS

      I met the man who invented the Big Mac today.

      He was much smaller and less appealing than he looked in his photos.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        How many Lefties does it take to change a lightbulb?


        None. They'd rather sit in the dark and blame Thatcher.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          The wife complains I never buy her flowers. I never knew she sold them
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Just seen a black cab with spots all over it .
            Must be a Acne cab
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Bloke limps in to the doctors
              the doctor looks at him and said gout
              the bloke said I've only just came in
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                My Doctor said to me " What do you want first, the good news or the bad?"
                I said " Can I have the good news please?"
                "Ok" he said " Congratulations you're going to have a disease named after you!"
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  For MF

                  After standing around in KFC for a good 10 minutes, a girl finally came over and said "Hi, I'm really sorry about your wait."

                  "Well you're not so skinny yourself, love!"
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    For our Divorcees

                    I leave my Women like I leave my coffee

                    Cold and bitter
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      one for NLUK

                      A man walks in a chemist and says, "Can I have some Viagra,"

                      the assistant says, "I need to some medical proof first",


                      the man says, "Here is a photo of my wife."
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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