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Please put more jokes here

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    George Michael's obituary reads exactly the same as Dim's ex wife's dating profile:

    'Fat drug addict with facial hair, terrible at driving, but gives a cracking blowjob.'
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Wellington boots are planning to release a commemorative George Michael welly.

      It's perfect for when you're about to get sucked off in a bog.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        For Admin

        What's rarer than a penny black?

        Site admin.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          For Brillo

          As a Welshman, sheep are an animal I can really get behind
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I' watched Rogue One which had a cameo from Carrie Fisher, less than an hour later she was dead...


            Tomorrow I'm gonna watch Home Alone 2
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              For our grammar Nazis

              Pirate: The cannons be ready, captain.

              Captain: Are.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                oldie

                A policeman radios in and says there is a big naked black man dancing on top of a Ford.
                The dispatcher replies, "Wow, you cannot say that, we have to be politically correct now."



                Policeman radios again, "Ok then, Zulu, Tango, Sierra."
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I've got a bout of that Irish OCD that's going about.

                  I left the house earlier and had to check the door was locked.

                  I checked it 3 times.

                  To be sure

                  To be sure

                  To be sure
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    For NLYUK

                    I've had to give up drag racing this year


                    At my age I'm finding it harder and harder to run in high heels and a skirt
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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