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Please put more jokes here

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    What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

    Gag
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      this time of year i live like a pikey for a week '
      ive got 30 dustbin bags in my front garden .
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Well **** me, A Queen and a Princess gone in two days.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          When I got home at 3 a.m. I realised I had a really nasty gash on my arm.

          I should stop going on the pull in Chav nightclubs.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I've just come back from Syria, and I cannot find this Alan's snack bar all these Muslims are shouting about.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I asked the missus if she would try anal last night
              " F*** that sh!t " she replied
              I said " Wahey, I'll go get the lube"!
              Last edited by vetran; 28 December 2016, 00:08.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                After a night of drink, drugs and debauchery, I woke up next to an ugly slapper......

                I'd made it home safely.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I've got a copy of '101 Things to do before You die's' companion guide to household chores.

                  It's called "101 things to learn before your Wife die's"
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    What's black and doesn't work?
                    Half of Rochdale.

                    What's white and doesn't work?
                    The other ******* half of Rochdale.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Just trying to sell a 42 inch TV on eBay, got 75 people watching it "cheeky bastards"
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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