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Please put more jokes here

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    I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I asked, "is it because I'm black?"
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

    Comment


      I've got a steering wheel in my pants. It's driving me nuts.

      Comment


        For MP

        A lady calls her lawyer and asks... "With all the lawsuits
        going on, I want to get in on some of that action. I hear
        people are suing cigarette companies because they got cancer
        and others are suing McDonald's because they got fat."

        "And which one of those categories do you fit under?"

        "Neither," says MP. "I just want to know if I can sue
        Budweiser for all the ugly Blokes I've ended up with after the bar closed.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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          I didn't change the name !

          Paddy dies and goes to hell. Satan is there waiting for him and shows him three rooms. In room 1, there is boiling hot water dripping from the ceiling. In room 2, there is hot coals scattered on the floor. In room 3, there is an old man getting a blow job from an extremely gorgeous fit blonde as he licks her ass at the same time. Paddy then says, "I think it'll definitely have to be room 3!" Satan says "OK then." Satan then goes into room 3, taps the blonde on the back and says, "You can go now love it's Paddy's turn!!..
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I phone the spiritual leader of Tibet the other day. He sent me a goat with a long neck; turns out I'd phoned dial-a-lama
            The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

            Comment


              The wife promised me a blow job for my birthday........ Bitch had me blowing up my balloons.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Believe it or not, CUK has actually restored my Faith in God.

                Because there's no way Darwinism is true after seeing some of the people on here.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  For NLUK

                  I have decided to become a porn actor and use the name Pringles because once I pop I just don't stop.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Michael Stipe died earlier and only two people know about it. That's me and the coroner.
                    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                    Comment


                      Does anyone know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife?
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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