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Please put more jokes here

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    What do you call an Irish lesbian.

    Gaylick.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      For our Divorcees

      Newly released statistics suggest in this day and age that you are more likely to contract cancer than to get married.

      Proof that God is more merciful than we give him credit for!
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        What are a lesbian's favorite flowers?

        Chew-lips.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Between 7am and 7:30am every morning this German Shepard comes and takes a tulip on my front lawn.

          To make matters worse this morning the bastard brought his dog.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            For QH

            Give a scouser a fish, and he can eat for a day.

            Give him a fishing rod and he'll put it in your letterbox and nick your car keys.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              During sex with the wife, I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
              She said, "What are you doing?"
              And I was like "Hush, I saw this on Pornhub, it's called buffering."
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                NLyUK's pussy is like a battery, its only afterwards you think "why the **** did I lick that".
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  one for AssSnob

                  My girlfriend called me a spastic earlier.

                  I nearly choked on my crayon.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    One for Zeity

                    My son told me he found some cassette tapes with some 'banging tunes' on them in the attic.

                    I think he's found my old ZX Spectrum games.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I woke up this morning and thought I had tunnel vision.

                      Luckily it was a false alarm, the wife just fancied a 69.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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