Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

What do you call an Irish lesbian.

Gaylick.

[vetran]

For our Divorcees

Newly released statistics suggest in this day and age that you are more likely to contract cancer than to get married.

Proof that God is more merciful than we give him credit for!

[vetran]

What are a lesbian's favorite flowers?

Chew-lips.

[vetran]

Between 7am and 7:30am every morning this German Shepard comes and takes a tulip on my front lawn.

To make matters worse this morning the bastard brought his dog.

[vetran]

For QH

Give a scouser a fish, and he can eat for a day.

Give him a fishing rod and he'll put it in your letterbox and nick your car keys.

[vetran]

During sex with the wife, I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
She said, "What are you doing?"
And I was like "Hush, I saw this on Pornhub, it's called buffering."

[vetran]

NLyUK's pussy is like a battery, its only afterwards you think "why the **** did I lick that".

[vetran]

one for AssSnob

My girlfriend called me a spastic earlier.

I nearly choked on my crayon.

[vetran]

One for Zeity

My son told me he found some cassette tapes with some 'banging tunes' on them in the attic.

I think he's found my old ZX Spectrum games.

[vetran]

I woke up this morning and thought I had tunnel vision.

Luckily it was a false alarm, the wife just fancied a 69.