Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

So far this week I've put 8 wine bottles, 3 gin bottles and a whiskey bottle in the recycling. My neighbour has only put in one wine bottle.

These people need to do more recycling, as sometimes I feel like I'm the only person round here doing anything about it.

[WTFH]

The current Mrs BP said that she doesn't need a man for anything.
When she went to bed, BP sneaked into the kitchen and tightened every jar and bottle in the cupboard.

[WTFH]

Do you know who I blame for the rise of drugs in schools?

The supply teachers.

[WTFH]

06:30 is the best time on a clock

Hands down

[WTFH]

I was about to make a belt made from watches until I realised it was a waist of time.

[BrilloPad]

The current Mrs BP said that she doesn't need a man for anything.
When she went to bed, BP sneaked into the kitchen and tightened every jar and bottle in the cupboard.

And these days she gets elder bp son to open them. Oh yes - I forgot - this thread is for jokes. I expect some WTFH joke infraction points later. I think if I get another 5 he changes the bullets from rubber to real?

[shaunbhoy]

Doctor: "The x-ray shows a golf ball sized tumour in your stomach and we need to operate immediately."

*after surgery*

Doctor: "Why didn't you tell us you swallowed a golf ball?"

[shaunbhoy]

Tried to sign up to a website the other day.

I put my password as “beef stew” but it said password wasn’t stroganoff.

[BrilloPad]

The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for golf" said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, there are three doctors there already!"
.

[shaunbhoy]

Just bumped into my mate 'One armed Dave'...
I said "where you off to fella?"
"I'm off to change a light bulb" he replied.
"That's going to bit a bit awkward eh?"

"Nah" he said .... "I've still got the receipt."