I spent five minutes fixing a broken clock yesterday.
At least I think it was five minutes.
At least I think it was five minutes.
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Got in trouble with my girl last night.
I asked her, "If you had no hands, would you wear gloves?"
She replied "No"
I said, "Then why do you wear a bra?""Wait, I still function!"Comment
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Here's a good oldie Christmas Joke
It's the day before Christmas, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
"Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."
"Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
"That's one is too skinny. What else you got?" says the man.
The butcher thinking Quickly takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any bigger. You better give me both of them!"(\__/)
(>'.'<)
("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to WorkComment
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The missus has pledged to get fit starting from Christmas day. She says she will do seven miles jogging a day.
If my calculator is right, the fat cow should be 49 miles away by new years eve(\__/)
(>'.'<)
("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to WorkComment
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I wanted to buy my son a drum kit for christmas.
My wife said, "I couldn't stay in the house with that racket!"
I bought my son a drum kit today."Wait, I still function!"Comment
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Statistically...........2 out of 3 people in the Gillette ad are cheating barstewards..."Wait, I still function!"Comment
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I had a leak in the roof over my dining room so I called a repairman to take a look at it.
"When did you first notice the leak?" he asked.
I told him, "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!""Wait, I still function!"Comment
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I used to be embarassed by my geology fetish.
I started off stroking gravel but now I’m feeling a little boulder."Wait, I still function!"Comment
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If Alistair Darling wants to make some popular cuts, may I suggest his throat and wrists?"Wait, I still function!"Comment
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