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Please put more jokes here

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    For Mrs BP

    Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
    His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
    Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
    Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      For SAS

      I just walked by an old man who kept saying, One, three, five, seven, nine... one, three, five, seven, nine...

      I thought, How odd.
      Last edited by vetran; 1 September 2016, 19:48.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?"


        "You can't tuna fish."
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          "DO NOT DIE A VIRGIN "
          Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you up there.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
            'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.
            'I would like it infrequently' she replied.
            The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, leaned over towards her and whispered -
            'Is that one word or two?'
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              What's a feminists favorite music festival?

              Burning Man.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Why can't Athiests solve exponential problems?

                Because they don't believe in higher powers.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I'm really sick of my friends who can't handle their alcohol.


                  The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
                  {emotionless greeting}

                  Three Word Slogan

                  Comment


                    If you like having sex while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you'll get a round of applause every 3 to 4 minutes.
                    {emotionless greeting}

                    Three Word Slogan

                    Comment


                      My friend thought he was smart - he said onions are the only food that make you cry.


                      So I threw a coconut at his face.
                      {emotionless greeting}

                      Three Word Slogan

                      Comment

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