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Please put more jokes here

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    "Hello Nikko, this is Cheryl Cole would you be interested in tattooing my arse?"

    "Ok," replies Nikko, "but I didn't think you and Ashley were still together"
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      What happened before the Big Bang? God knows.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first,
        "What's your name and address?"
        "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address."
        The cop turns to the second drunk, and asks the same question.
        "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          My dad kicked me out of the house when I told him that I'm gay.

          Now I'm a homelessexual.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I went swimming last night.

            People must have all been thin when they invented the phrase 'Skinny Dipping.'

            All I could see was the 'Fat Flop.'
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              The barman said "I've got more new sheep jokes than I can cope with."

              I replied "Herd them."
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                for MF

                I'm at the beach skimming pebbles.
                This exercise lark is a piece of cake.
                I've lost 12 stones in 15 minutes.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  A Yorkie bar isn't for girls.

                  But it is chocolate, so it's best not to stand between them.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Statistically, 46% of men are 'too lazy to put the toilet seat back down'. Or, interpreted a different way, 54% of us are smart enough to realize that she will never find out if it doesn't go up in the first place
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      For old hack

                      I stayed up late to listen to my uncle make love to his wife.....

                      It turned out to be a real aunty climax!
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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