Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

"Hello Nikko, this is Cheryl Cole would you be interested in tattooing my arse?"

"Ok," replies Nikko, "but I didn't think you and Ashley were still together"

[vetran]

What happened before the Big Bang? God knows.

[vetran]

A cop pulls up two Irish drunks, and says to the first,
"What's your name and address?"
"I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address."
The cop turns to the second drunk, and asks the same question.
"I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."

[vetran]

My dad kicked me out of the house when I told him that I'm gay.

Now I'm a homelessexual.

[vetran]

I went swimming last night.

People must have all been thin when they invented the phrase 'Skinny Dipping.'

All I could see was the 'Fat Flop.'

[vetran]

The barman said "I've got more new sheep jokes than I can cope with."

I replied "Herd them."

[vetran]

for MF

I'm at the beach skimming pebbles.
This exercise lark is a piece of cake.
I've lost 12 stones in 15 minutes.

[vetran]

A Yorkie bar isn't for girls.

But it is chocolate, so it's best not to stand between them.

[vetran]

Statistically, 46% of men are 'too lazy to put the toilet seat back down'. Or, interpreted a different way, 54% of us are smart enough to realize that she will never find out if it doesn't go up in the first place

[vetran]

For old hack

I stayed up late to listen to my uncle make love to his wife.....

It turned out to be a real aunty climax!