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Please put more jokes here

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    I got one of those 'parachute experience' days from the wife, on saturday.


    She had me folding her knickers in the launderette.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      There was a Redtit in my garden today.

      Admittedly, it was only a Bluetit before I shot it.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        Whenever I stay at a friends house they always say "You can't half snore!"

        Some people have weird house rules.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          They say that sex is a great form of exercise.

          Which would explain why the people who don't get any are always fat.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            An insane woman will talk gibberish...

            And a sane woman will talk gibberish until she drives her man insane.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              It's all go being a mental health doctor for single women.

              After committing a Miss Demeanor earlier. I'm now being charged with Miss Conduct
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I met her in a club down in old Soho where we drank champagne and it taste just like cherry cola.

                And I thought I'd been conned at THAT point.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  The wife's still not talking to me after we went looking for a little runaround for her.

                  "We were thinking something like a Mini," she said to the car salesman.

                  I couldn't help but high five the cheeky ****er when he asked, "Did you mean 'minibus'?"
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    What's the difference between a circus tent, and employment in the UK?

                    With the tent, the poles are easily removed.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      Why does every one hate Syria?

                      Because it never understands voice commands.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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