Management is when ten people are paid for what five could do more cheaply if there were only three of them and two of those were off sick.
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
Any black people on the streets of Tottenham tonight are dyslexic and dangerous
They're the ones who read that there was a gathering for Dark Muggin'.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Breaking News - Hundreds of supporters of Mark Duggans family have gathered in Tottenham for a local shop lit vigil.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Ariel Sharon, former Israeli Prime Minister, dead at 85.
He is survived by his brothers, Helvetica and Comic Sans.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Someone phoned the vet's surgery and said they had a constipated alligator.
"That's a crock of tulip." I told them, before hanging up.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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The women in my family have always kept their surnames after getting married.
They're not feminists, just from Norfolk.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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A woman with a clipboard stopped me and asked if I'd participate in a survey.
"This country's going to the dogs," I ranted. "Bloody immigrants! Poles, blacks, bloody Chinese, and now Bulgarians. Do you know there's eighteen different languages spoken in my daughter's school. There's one kid from Moldova. I mean, where the ****'s Moldova? It's not on you know. Something's got to change."
"Okay...well..back to the survey," she said. "Can you believe it's not butter?"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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What do necrophiliacs have before sex?
GoreplayAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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God is definitely a woman.
Otherwise tits would have beer in them.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I've just been told that I'm going to have to spend some time at Her Majesty's pleasure.
I hate shopping with the wife.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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