Am I Going the Right Way?

[Ardesco]

The fat man finds several bottles of J2O - mango and passionfruit, and apple and orange flavours.

Drink the J2O and catch the sleeping crow (a talking crow has to be worth a few bob)

[realityhack]

Drink the J2O and catch the sleeping crow (a talking crow has to be worth a few bob)

You drink all the J2O in one go - this takes some doing, but your university drinking days pay off here. You suddenly need the loo really badly.
You cannot catch the crow, the crow was not sleeping. The crow squawks a squawk that sounds a lot like "bugger off" and flies away.
The fat man looks at you fearfully.
Mitch and Twitch are beginning to smell.

Health = 56
Stamina = 4
Respect = 65

[Ardesco]

Urinate on Mitch and Twitch to try and cover the smell, then head S telling the fat man to follow you and eat any imps you come across while they are still alive.

[Old Greg]

You drink all the J2O in one go - this takes some doing, but your university drinking days pay off here. You suddenly need the loo really badly.
You cannot catch the crow, the crow was not sleeping. The crow squawks a squawk that sounds a lot like "bugger off" and flies away.
The fat man looks at you fearfully.
Mitch and Twitch are beginning to smell.

Health = 56
Stamina = 4
Respect = 65

Tell fat man to lie on floor face down and wee on him.

[realityhack]

Urinate on Mitch and Twitch to try and cover the smell, then head S telling the fat man to follow you and eat any imps you come across while they are still alive.

You relieve yourself upon the unfortunate ex-barrow-boys, and order the fat man to follow you through the grassy plain towards the thatched village.

You come to a well with an old rusty bucket and some heavy rope attached to a winch. The village is to the South East, with a lake in the distance, to the south is a beanstalk winding its way into the clouds, beyond that a forest. To the west there is more forest, to the North are the snowy mountains.

The fat man is looking around, some distance to the North, you can hear him shouting after you, he can't see where you've got to.

You manage to catch 5 imps and eat them. They are delicious. Their friends and fellow tiny imp warriors are looking scared and confused, swords drawn, walking around looking for the invisible murderer.

It is sunny. A crow circles above you.

[Ardesco]

Walk back to the fat man, take the cape off and head south again. Make sure it is the fat man catching and eating the imps and not you!!!.

[realityhack]

Walk back to the fat man, take the cape off and head south again. Make sure it is the fat man catching and eating the imps and not you!!!.

You walk back to the fat man and remove your cape. He follows you South.

You come to a well with an old rusty bucket and some heavy rope attached to a winch. The village is to the South East, with a lake in the distance, to the south is a beanstalk winding its way into the clouds, beyond that a forest. To the west there is more forest, to the North are the snowy mountains.

The fat man managed to eat 4 imps before about 50 imps jumped on him, swords drawn. The imps are cutting the fat man to ribbons. His health is 55.
The fat man is saying "ow" a lot.

It is sunny. A crow circles above you.

[Ardesco]

Get the fat man to negotiate a contract with the imps for some outsource work that needs doing (make sure you get a cut, get it cut !! boom boom). Send the imps off to work.

[realityhack]

Get the fat man to negotiate a contract with the imps for some outsource work that needs doing (make sure you get a cut, get it cut !! boom boom). Send the imps off to work.

The imps agree what they think is a great deal, you have successfully hired 50 imps at £5 an hour each, there are 3 clients needing bum-on-seat t'imps, who are willing to pay £30 an hour per imp. You issue each imp with a works schedule and contract, and outsource them to The City. The imps run off to work.

You have no more paper.

It is sunny.

The fat man is bleeding heavily, his health is 45.

[realityhack]

<program paused>

Off to the beer festival! See you tomorrow.