Am I Going the Right Way?

[TheFaQQer]

<program error>
>additional plugin hangover v5.0.1 installed
>buffer overload
>cognitive failure mode on

You are standing next to a beanstalk, winding up into the clouds. The remains of a dozen permies are woven through with the roots of the beanstalks.

To the East is a small jetty and a hut beside a large lake, to the South is dense forest, to the North is a small thatched village with snowy mountains in the distance, West is uphill towards the forest.

Tell fat man to bathe wounds in lake.

[realityhack]

Climb beanstalk

You climb the beanstalk, the fat man is unable to follow you. You are climbing a wide beanstalk trunk. Halfway up, you pause to catch your breath, and notice a small treehouse complex tethered to the trunk, supported by vines. There are some imps here, swords drawn.

One imp says "Stop, who goes there?" and waves his sword at you.

You look down, far below you, you can see the great grassy plain, the forest, with the occasional clearing and buildings dotted here and there, and the thatched village over to the North East. The fat man is resting at the foot of the beanstalk.

Exits U, D.

[Old Greg]

You climb the beanstalk, the fat man is unable to follow you. You are climbing a wide beanstalk trunk. Halfway up, you pause to catch your breath, and notice a small treehouse complex tethered to the trunk, supported by vines. There are some imps here, swords drawn.

One imp says "Stop, who goes there?" and waves his sword at you.

You look down, far below you, you can see the great grassy plain, the forest, with the occasional clearing and buildings dotted here and there, and the thatched village over to the North East. The fat man is resting at the foot of the beanstalk.

Exits U, D.

Hold orb alofy and say to imps, 'There is a fat man at the bottom of the beanstalk who has been eating imps alive. I have come to warn you. Come let us avenge your comrades.'

[Ardesco]

Say

"Good work I see you are earning your £5/hour. If you tell me whats up here i'll make sure you get half a days pay as bonus"

Mumble

"assuming a 1 hour day"

[realityhack]

Hold orb alofy and say to imps, 'There is a fat man at the bottom of the beanstalk who has been eating imps alive. I have come to warn you. Come let us avenge your comrades.'

You cannot reach into your satchel - you are hanging from a beanstalk with both arms.
You say 'There is a fat man at the bottom of the beanstalk who has been eating imps alive. I have come to warn you. Come let us avenge your comrades.' The imps reply 'we cannot leave our post, we will send word to the imps of the grassy plain and our comrades will be avenged, rest assured the fat man will die a horrible death.'

Your mobile phone rings inside your satchel.

[Old Greg]

You cannot reach into your satchel - you are hanging from a beanstalk with both arms.
You say 'There is a fat man at the bottom of the beanstalk who has been eating imps alive. I have come to warn you. Come let us avenge your comrades.' The imps reply 'we cannot leave our post, we will send word to the imps of the grassy plain and our comrades will be avenged, rest assured the fat man will die a horrible death.'

Your mobile phone rings inside your satchel.

Answer phone if safe to do so, otherwise do what Ardesco said.

[realityhack]

Answer phone if safe to do so, otherwise do what Ardesco said.

You cannot reach into your satchel - you are hanging from a beanstalk with both arms.

The phone continues to ring. An imp says 'Who are you?'

[Old Greg]

You cannot reach into your satchel - you are hanging from a beanstalk with both arms.

The phone continues to ring. An imp says 'Who are you?'

Say 'I come bearing outsourcing contract opportunities. What is your skillset?'

[realityhack]

Say 'I come bearing outsourcing contract opportunities. What is your skillset?'

You say 'I come bearing outsourcing contract opportunities. What is your skillset?'

An imp says 'we're already in a contract, thank you, paying us a handsome sum per hour, we're mostly all great at killing humans, trolls and building things. We don't work with ninjas.' Another imp calls out 'I'm good at cooking'.

You see an imp put on a tiny parachute, and base-jump off the beanstalk towards the great grassy plain below you.

Your phone has stopped ringing.

[Old Greg]

You say 'I come bearing outsourcing contract opportunities. What is your skillset?'

An imp says 'we're already in a contract, thank you, paying us a handsome sum per hour, we're mostly all great at killing humans, trolls and building things. We don't work with ninjas.' Another imp calls out 'I'm good at cooking'.

You see an imp put on a tiny parachute, and base-jump off the beanstalk towards the great grassy plain below you.

Your phone has stopped ringing.

Tell imps phone no. as a courtesy in case they have any contract needs. Say politely, 'What is up the beanstalk?'