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Please put more jokes here

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    Have you ever noticed how broken glass tastes like blood?
    {emotionless greeting}

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      I told my wife a really bad pun I’d made up about our vegetable garden.

      It was home groan.
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        I spotted King Canute on a laptop yesterday.

        He was pressing ctrl-c.

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          Gold toilet stolen in Blenheim Palace burglary - BBC News
          Police have nothing to go on.
          Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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            What is the difference between Watford Football Club and a cocktail stick?

            A cocktail stick has 2 points.

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              Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
              What is the difference between Watford Football Club and a cocktail stick?

              A cocktail stick has 2 points.

              Alan would have appreciated that.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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                Just been for a job interview, one of the bosses asked me how well I perform under pressure.
                I told them I didn’t know the second verse, but I do know all of Bohemian Rhapsody.
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                  Doctor: You have the same disease as the girl in Airplane

                  Me: Oh no what is it?

                  Doctor: A movie with Leslie Neilsen but that's not important right now
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                    Please put more jokes here

                    I went into Blockbuster a couple of years ago and said “Hello, my name is Radio Star Junior. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
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                      My surgeon was telling me at the weekend that he had a phone call from BrilloPad before my most recent operation. Brillo asked him if I would be able to play guitar after recovery.
                      The surgeon replied “yes, of course”
                      Brillo said “well that will be a bloody miracle, cause he’s tulip at it now”
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