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Please put more jokes here

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    Dear ITV, my friend just committed suicide after watching Piers Morgan on Good Morning Britain Your move
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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      Following the cancellation of Jeremy Kyle due to the risk of future suicides sky sports have announced they will not be showing Manchester United games next season.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Originally posted by vetran View Post
        Following the cancellation of Jeremy Kyle due to the risk of future suicides sky sports have announced they will not be showing Manchester United games next season.

        Mo Salah's daughter has scored more goals at premiership grounds this season than Alexis Sanchez
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

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          Be warned, if your bank says you have an "outstanding balance" it might not be the great news it first seems.
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

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            A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

            One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan.

            Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

            He responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

            Comment


              WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE????

              A LADY FOUND MY PHONE ON A CHAIR RIGHT BESIDE ME AT MCDONALD'S - LITERALLY 15 SECONDS AFTER I LEFT IT THERE.

              I WATCHED HER POCKET IT.

              SHE TRIED KEEPING IT!!

              I KEPT TAPPING HER ON THE SHOULDER TO TELL HER TO GIVE IT BACK BUT THIS IDIOT DENIED HAVING IT!!


              THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING...

              A BIGGER IDIOT KEPT TAPPING....
              See more
              {emotionless greeting}

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                Link isn't working??
                'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

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                  Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                  A BIGGER IDIOT KEPT TAPPING.... See more
                  Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
                  Link isn't working??
                  QED
                  {emotionless greeting}

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                    Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
                    Link isn't working??
                    Ask your accountant.....

                    Comment


                      Hindu, Muslim & Scouser go to Madrid for the final. Apartment owner meets them to let them in... there are only 2 beds.. guy says I have a barn down the road, one of you is welcome to stay there ..”

                      Hindu says, “I’ll take the barn, no worries”

                      30 mins later , knock at the apartment door, it’s the Hindu “Sorry, I can’t stay in the barn there’s a cow in there”

                      Muslim guy says “Ok I’ll take the barn”

                      30 mins later , knock at the apartment door, it’s the Muslim, “Sorry, I can’t stay in the barn there’s a pig in there, I can not sleep with a filthy swine there”

                      Scouser says “Ok, I’ll take the barn”

                      30 mins later, there’s a knock at the apartment door ... it’s the cow & the pig.....

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