Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Typical bloody government..they give you £324 universal credit top up but then don't tell you which horse to put it on...

[vetran]

Tablets were replaced by scrolls.
Scrolls were replaced by books.

Now we scroll through books on tablets.

[vetran]

What has four letters, occasionally has twelve letters, always has six letters, but never has five letters


?

WTFH a man of letters that count?

[WTFH]

What has four letters, occasionally has twelve letters, always has six letters, but never has five letters


?

[vetran]

My boss phoned and said, "Why aren't you at work?"

"My girlfriend is going to have a baby," I replied.

"Congratulations," he said, "is it a boy or girl?"

"I don't know," I replied, "I'll tell you in nine months time."

[vetran]

Reports are coming in that Boy George has been attacked by a reptile on the set of I'm a Celebrity.

They should have got a calmer Chameleon, but apparently, they come and go.

[eek]

There’s an approval process at Twitter, it used to quite short, but now it’s Elon Gated.

[vetran]

In honour of COP27 I'd like to point out that cycling doesn't help prevent climate change at all.

Just think how much carbon is emitted from all the cremations after they inevitably get hit by buses.

[WTFH]

Thoughts go out my Mother-in-law.

She's been taken to hospital after a bee landed on her face.

Luckily she wasn't stung as I was too quick with the shovel.

[vetran]

For sale 90s iconic puppets Sooty and Sweep.

Any offer accepted, I just want them off my hands.