• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • vetran
    replied
    What does a fish like to smoke?
    Sea weed.

    How do you stop smoking sea weed?
    Sea kelp.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Jacob Rees-Mogg today suggested that people having difficulty with the cost of living should simply cut their outgoings by moving into their smaller second home.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    For NAT

    Watching Local Election Results
    Portsmouth - Hung
    Bolton- Hung
    Plymouth - Hung
    Wirral - Hung
    Thought I Was on GRINDR for a minute

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    For Warty


    Warty went to the doctor the other day for a routine check up
    Doctor said to me, "Ya know, you really have to stop masturbating"
    Warty said, "Really doc? Why's that?"
    He replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    At a BBQ you can tell who watches lots of porn, they're the one who spits on their hotdog before putting it in a bun.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I've been letting myself go recently, so I decided to start doing lunges.

    That's a big step forward

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    First they came for the bros fans and I said nothing, nothing at all

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I had great s*x last night with this girl I met in the pub.

    The landlord says we're both barred for 3 months, though.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Omid Djalili

    Why does everybody keep complaining about this government?

    They’re doing brilliantly. For example my car used to only hold £65 of petrol, now it holds £90 worth.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Can't believe that Tory ****** looking at p0rn while in the House Of Commons.

    That's why the rest of us work from home you stupid MP

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X