Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

When you ask for someone's name, you're basically asking them what noise you should make to get their attention.

[vetran]

BBC NEWS
Prince Harry: 'I want my father and brother back'

I didn't know James Hewitt had another son!

[vetran]

I went to the sperm bank today and the nurse asked me if I want to mastubate in the cup.

I thought about it for a moment and replied, I'm good but not quite ready for a competition yet.

[Paddy]

Well, there's not much point in flattening the Netherlands, is there?

NL is not absolutely flat. I had to cycle from below sea level, uphill to get to Scheveningen beach!

[NotAllThere]

If you could choose to flatten any European country why would it be France?

Well, there's not much point in flattening the Netherlands, is there?

[Paddy]

A message from the Conservative Club

We realise that some people spend Christmas alone and have no family or friends to have Christmas lunch with.
If you are one of those people, please get in touch as we would like to borrow your unwanted chairs for are Christmas Day party.

[vetran]

If you could choose to flatten any European country why would it be France?

[vetran]

The Guardian: Amber Heard settles defamation case with Johnny Depp.

That's odd. I always thought it was a defecation case.

[vetran]

Paddy goes to hardware store to buy a chainsaw Salesman said this good value You'll do about 40 to 50 trees a day with this So paddy buys it
Week later he takes it back complaining it was faulty coz he had only done 25 trees in a week Salesman checks everything and couldn't find nothing wrong He then pulled the cord to start it up then paddy says what's that noise?

[vetran]

Just a quick reminder to all cat owners:

Now is the time to start feeding gold and silver glitter to your cats if you want to add that festive touch to your neighbour's flower beds.