Reply to: Pronouns

[northernladuk]

First it was eating disorders then it was sexuality and now its how you're referred to but its all a me, me, me and I'm different and special cry for attention deserved or not Can't these people get it into their heads that they're not special and no one besides there mothers cares about them

Aye. You you've got to know a lot of it is this. Do a survey in 10+ years time of all the gender fluid uni grads and see how many still are. But of course you are not allowed to suggest that and as an old white guy I can't comment on it as Whorty says.

[vetran]

Wasn't that what got you banned from the kitchen department of John Lewis?

I made a similar joke when my daughter suggested one of friends was pan sexual. I told him he wasn't welcome in our kitchen.

They explained - well it means they don't care what they sleep with I was in trouble for saying ok its a teenage boy!

[WTFH]

you don't want to be labelled 'pan sexual'?

Wasn't that what got you banned from the kitchen department of John Lewis?

[vetran]

Tend to agree ..... I get the he/she if someone is changing their sex and fully support that the pronoun we use reflects this, but the they/them is just attention seeking. Be sexually fluid if that's your thing, sh*g who you like, or be celibate, but you don't need to label yourself (in my personal opinion).

But then I'm an old bloke, so my opinion is no longer valid

you don't want to be labelled 'pan sexual'?

[SueEllen]

Not that I've ever seen a fella who can pass as a woman mind you.

You have and vice versa but you wouldn't know.

They are the type that quietly get on with their life.

[Whorty]

First it was eating disorders then it was sexuality and now its how you're referred to but its all a me, me, me and I'm different and special cry for attention deserved or not Can't these people get it into their heads that they're not special and no one besides there mothers cares about them

Tend to agree ..... I get the he/she if someone is changing their sex and fully support that the pronoun we use reflects this, but the they/them is just attention seeking. Be sexually fluid if that's your thing, sh*g who you like, or be celibate, but you don't need to label yourself (in my personal opinion).

But then I'm an old bloke, so my opinion is no longer valid

[tazdevil]

I think that last paragraph is the grey area, and not the people that have any physical characteristic tells. Hard to put politely but the younger end straight out of uni that have embraced the gender fluidity thing and calling themselves Christ knows what and changing regularly. One of the family friends has a daughter that's just out of uni and she's changed her gender three times in the last year alone and that's only because I've only asked about it three times. They are a very standard looking female, few piercings and half shaved head (still tasteful and feminine) but identifies as they/them at the moment. Physically there isn't a single clue they have a different pronoun. Problem is she's also very vocal about it so we are scared to death being around her, my other half as well and she's the happy clappy type. A badge would be essential not to mis gender her and not get a ticking off for it.

These are the the type of people that I'm most afraid of using wrong pronouns and getting called out so if badges help them and me then I'm all for that.

First it was eating disorders then it was sexuality and now its how you're referred to but its all a me, me, me and I'm different and special cry for attention deserved or not Can't these people get it into their heads that they're not special and no one besides there mothers cares about them

[Whorty]

Well you might have seen one and not even noticed. Once you go the hormone and surgery route it really is quite remarkable nuy I assume you're not meaning that.
You are right though that there are (a minority) of trans people who are born male, identify as female but are happy with a male body (or vice versa).

And substantially more who identify as non-gender... typically they have a somewhat androgynous look but I'm sure there are far butcher agender people than whorty out there (I never would have guessed he identifies as an alpha male!)

Pure alpha .... it's what all the ladies tell me too

[northernladuk]

Well you might have seen one and not even noticed. Once you go the hormone and surgery route it really is quite remarkable nuy I assume you're not meaning that.
You are right though that there are (a minority) of trans people who are born male, identify as female but are happy with a male body (or vice versa).

And substantially more who identify as non-gender... typically they have a somewhat androgynous look but I'm sure there are far butcher agender people than whorty out there (I never would have guessed he identifies as an alpha male!)

I think that last paragraph is the grey area, and not the people that have any physical characteristic tells. Hard to put politely but the younger end straight out of uni that have embraced the gender fluidity thing and calling themselves Christ knows what and changing regularly. One of the family friends has a daughter that's just out of uni and she's changed her gender three times in the last year alone and that's only because I've only asked about it three times. They are a very standard looking female, few piercings and half shaved head (still tasteful and feminine) but identifies as they/them at the moment. Physically there isn't a single clue they have a different pronoun. Problem is she's also very vocal about it so we are scared to death being around her, my other half as well and she's the happy clappy type. A badge would be essential not to mis gender her and not get a ticking off for it.

These are the the type of people that I'm most afraid of using wrong pronouns and getting called out so if badges help them and me then I'm all for that.

[d000hg]

The trouble is some men identify as women without even attempting to look the part. Not that I've ever seen a fella who can pass as a woman mind you. I suppose you could be fooled, like Begbie in Trainspotting, if the beer goggles are thick enough.

Well you might have seen one and not even noticed. Once you go the hormone and surgery route it really is quite remarkable nuy I assume you're not meaning that.
You are right though that there are (a minority) of trans people who are born male, identify as female but are happy with a male body (or vice versa).

And substantially more who identify as non-gender... typically they have a somewhat androgynous look but I'm sure there are far butcher agender people than whorty out there (I never would have guessed he identifies as an alpha male!)

[NotAllThere]

Not that I've ever seen a fella who can pass as a woman mind you.

One of my friends played the role of a Joan Collins type dame in a panto. I did not recognise him at all, and I thought the part was being play by a woman.

He is a very good actor.

[northernladuk]

Didn't see if this was linked elsewhere but there is Yougov poll on gender pronouns on emails/badges

https://yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyl...their-pronouns

Interesting that only 10% of us think it's a good idea with nearly half saying you can if you want. I've seen it around and in 100% of times so far I could quite easily identify the prounouns of the person wearing it on their badge. This is only going to help, what, less that 3% or something is it?

I think having the option to put them on if you want is a great happy medium and will help with inclusivity and avoid mis-gendering but for your entire workforce to have them on their badges/emails when there is possibly no one in the org that will be any different than the ones they were born with a bit woke.

But if it's a start and if we can find a balance in the future then no harm done I guess.... as long as the option not to put them on is available.

Next problem is to try use them correctly in a conversation which I am worried I'll not be able to do. But that's another topic.

[DealorNoDeal]

I'm finding everyone in HR use these now ... and the exec level. Definitely a woke thing. If someone can't work out I'm an alpha male 'he' by looking at me, then they have problems that me adding it to my email sig is never going to help them with.

The trouble is some men identify as women without even attempting to look the part. Not that I've ever seen a fella who can pass as a woman mind you. I suppose you could be fooled, like Begbie in Trainspotting, if the beer goggles are thick enough.

[SueEllen]

It's standard at Deloitte. Don't ask me how I know that though...

Hopefully every time you communicate with them you change your pronouns.

[Whorty]

I'm not the one obsessed with my derrière.

Sorry fella, but I'm not a chubby chaser ..... I only hook up with slim, athletic types. Girls who look after themselves and take some care over their appearance.