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    After rough sex with a scouse bird, there's nothing worse than looking down
    and seeing a burst condom hanging off your knob....Especially when you
    weren't wearing one when you started!!!
    Throw them to the lions - WC2 5.4

    Comment


      There's a new diet sweeping Pakistan... Swim fast
      l l l http://www.thewantedfans.com

      Comment


        I just got a new job as a nursery rhyme cow.

        I'm over the moon.
        l l l http://www.thewantedfans.com

        Comment


          Man says to his wife "Do you fancy playing a little rape game?"

          "No I don't!!!"

          "That's the spirit"
          l l l http://www.thewantedfans.com

          Comment


            My little sister once said to me : "You can't choose your parents"

            In response I just said : "Well, they chose you, seeing as you're adopted"

            Ohh how we laughed.
            l l l http://www.thewantedfans.com

            Comment


              Women Vs Men

              FINE

              This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.



              FIVE MINUTES

              This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.



              NOTHING

              This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"



              GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

              This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"



              GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

              This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.



              LOUD SIGH

              This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"



              SOFT SIGH

              Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.



              THAT'S OKAY

              This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."



              GO AHEAD!

              At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



              PLEASE DO

              This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"



              THANKS

              A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.



              THANKS A LOT

              This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"
              l l l http://www.thewantedfans.com

              Comment


                I was in the pub last night, and some lass said to me, "you look so much better without glasses"

                I said "I don't wear glasses!"

                She replied, "I do"
                Last edited by Money Money Money; 26 August 2010, 10:38.
                l l l http://www.thewantedfans.com

                Comment


                  Not got children? Hire a babysitter anyway, say the kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. When you get home later that evening, go mental and ask where the child has gone.
                  l l l http://www.thewantedfans.com

                  Comment


                    My mate said, "Apparently, you have the biggest cock in town."

                    I replied, "Don't believe everything your wife tells you."
                    l l l http://www.thewantedfans.com

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by Money Money Money View Post
                      Not got children? Hire a babysitter anyway, say the kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. When you get home later that evening, go mental and ask where the child has gone.
                      That one only really works if you do up a spare bedroom to look like a child's. Just thought I'd mention it in case it saves somebody undue embarrassment if they try it.

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