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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    My gran needs eye surgery after watching the world cup...

    She has Qataracts.
    I've heard the Nile has those.
    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

    Comment


      What's the difference between a politician and a paedophile?

      Paedophiles actually care about the children.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Jesus would now like to be referred to as Thee and Thy.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          What's got four legs and an arm? A very happy pit bull...
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I passed all of my exams except Greek History.


            That’s always been my Socrates heel.
            {emotionless greeting}

            Three Word Slogan

            Comment


              It's about time we put doctor's receptionists at the border controls.

              Let's see how many illegals get past them!
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I must be getting old.

                I'm now watching Countdown for more than just Rachel Riley.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  A woman steps out of the shower and says "Darling, I've shaved myself 'Down there', you know what that means,don't you?"
                  The chap sighed and replied "Yep, the ******* drains clogged again..."
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    My wife just shouted at me as i was urinating under the Christmas tree,
                    "what the feck do you think you're doing?" She screamed


                    I replied, "I'm taking a piss at present"
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      When I see a couples names carved onto a tree I don't think it's cute I think who the **** takes a knife on a date.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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