Please put more jokes here

[BR14]

I think the job lot coincides with release of the reader's digest

does that still exist? and people read it?

oh, dear

[vetran]

I think the job lot coincides with release of the reader's digest

sickipedia download!

I occasionally trim the really offensive & pathetic ones out and put the good ones here.

[vetran]

"I got a new, small rectangular cloth bag stuffed with feathers or other soft materials, used to support the head when lying or sleeping."

"Can we get back to the sex, please?"
"Sorry, just a little pillow talk."

[vetran]

Katie Price is to be commended for staying two metres apart during the lock down.
Well, her legs do anyway.

[vetran]

Did you hear about the transgender vegan
He was a herbefore

[vetran]

So Starbucks have announced that the lockdown has cost their business about £1.3bn.

Or in other words, that's equivalent to four hot chocolates, an Americana and two sandwiches.

[vetran]

As I sat down with a whisky, my wife said, "paint the fence, clean the car, fix the roof...?"
"Go to Paris, have sex with a model and stay sober," I replied.
"What the f**k are you on about?" she snarled.
"Oh," I said, "I thought we were talking about things I'm not going to do today."

[vetran]

RIP Dame Vera Lynn. A wonderful singer and an absolute stunner back in the day.

I wanted to bang her the moment I saw her singing for the troops in Afghanistan - Wayne Rooney

[vetran]

'High Street clothing store Monsoon enters administration.'

I thought they might have been able to weather the storm.

[vetran]

My son said, "What's wrong with mam?"I said, "She's not talking to me."He said, "Why, what have you done?"He said, "I wish I knew, so I could f**king do it again."