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Please put more jokes here

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    I went to my mates funeral , it was sad he was killed by a tennis ball .

    Still it was a lovely service.
    {emotionless greeting}

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      I was on a train this morning, in the loo, having a dump, when a voice called out "Can I see your ticket please?"

      "Not right now." I replied, "I'm having a dump."

      "I don't believe you." Said the voice. "Slide it under the door."

      "No probs," I said. "The yellow bits are Sweetcorn!"
      {emotionless greeting}

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        My grief counselor died yesterday. Fortunately, he was that good that I didn't give a toss.
        The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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          A warehouse worker was badly injured when a box of white chocolate bars fell on him.

          Calling out for help he yelled 'The milky bars are on me'

          ....and everyone cheered.
          'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

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            What did Blackbeard say on his 80th birthday?

            Aye, matey!
            The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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              Apochryphal douglas bader joke, but makes ME laugh

              Bader was giving a talk during assembly at a posh girl's school, and was recounting one of the many dogfights in which he was shot down....

              "I had two ****ers to the left of me, two ****ers to the right, another two ****ers below, and one ****er coming in from the sun"

              At this point the headmistress interjected "I must inform you girls that there is a type of aircraft called a fokker spelled f-o-k-k-e-r"

              "I don't know about that", said Bader, "this lot were all flying Messerschmitts"

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                A book just fell on my head.

                I've only got my shelf to blame.

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                  A friend died without knowing his blood type.

                  He kept saying "be positive" but its hard without him.

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                    If you receive an email promising a free tin of pork luncheon meat, don’t open it! It’s spam.

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                      Alan Carr is named after two types of key.
                      {emotionless greeting}

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