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Please put more jokes here

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    I went to my local s ex shop last night to get a new blow-up doll. As I was looking at them the clerk came up to me and asked if I needed help? I said yes and he asked if I wanted a male or female? I said a female and he asked blonde or brunette? I said blonde. Then he asked Mu sli m or Christian? I asked what's the difference? He said the M usli m blows itself up.

    Comment


      Some eclipse ones

      Me and the wife were having sex while watching the total eclipse on TV.

      The Sun , the Moon , and the Earth all moved.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        We watched with shock and awe as the massive round form slowly moved forward and blotted out the sun, casting everything into complete darkness.

        But then we asked MF to stand back so we could try and watch the eclipse.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          So that's it then, this one in 2017 and now the next is not until 2024.

          Still though, a blow job from the wife is always welcome.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I fully support Gay Marriages.
            They have every right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              "Why are you painting number 34 on our bin when we live at number two?" asked my wife.

              "It's so the ******* binmen will leave it near our house when they've emptied it, " I replied.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I put the sexy in dyslexic.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  There's a new magazine for gay military members.

                  It's mainly just photos of Privates.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    A very strange thing happened last night.

                    There I was in the kitchen, having stripped the carburetor on the work surface and de-greasing some other parts from my motorbike in the sink, when my wife came home, looked at me in a very peculiar way, then, for no reason whatsoever her mood ring just exploded?
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      A new study found our happiness peaks in our late 80s ...

                      That's because all the people who pissed you off are now dead.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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