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Please put more jokes here

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    Apparently the Royal family might have to move out whilst Buckingham Palace gets refurbished. This isn't a health and safety issue.

    It's just they will need to get Prince Phillip off the premises before the Polish workforce turn up.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      for MS's army

      A single sperm holds over thirty megabytes of information.

      My socks must be geniuses!
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        for MF

        I was running through the shopping precinct today shouting, "Hey guys, wait for me!"

        Just so everybody thinks I've actually got real friends.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video/CIb4AMuWUAAQyts.mp4
          (\__/)
          (>'.'<)
          ("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to Work

          Comment


            I was watching an interview with Frank Sinatra where he was asked if he had any children.

            "Rugrats? I've had a few," he said.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Just had one of those Greek Inspired Muller Rice deserts.

              All it contained was an I.O.U.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                My wife told me she's been a closet lesbian all these years and she wishes she had married another woman.

                Coincidence or what?
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I went to a rave with my deaf friend.

                  It was slightly uncomfortable.

                  He kept thinking I was talking to him but I was just dancing.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I only want 2 things in a woman

                    My tongue and my todger.

                    Comment


                      My wife gives sound advice.

                      99% sound. 1% advice.

                      Comment

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