Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Apparently the Royal family might have to move out whilst Buckingham Palace gets refurbished. This isn't a health and safety issue.

It's just they will need to get Prince Phillip off the premises before the Polish workforce turn up.

[vetran]

for MS's army

A single sperm holds over thirty megabytes of information.

My socks must be geniuses!

[vetran]

for MF

I was running through the shopping precinct today shouting, "Hey guys, wait for me!"

Just so everybody thinks I've actually got real friends.

[EternalOptimist]

https://pbs.twimg.com/tweet_video/CIb4AMuWUAAQyts.mp4

[vetran]

I was watching an interview with Frank Sinatra where he was asked if he had any children.

"Rugrats? I've had a few," he said.

[vetran]

Just had one of those Greek Inspired Muller Rice deserts.

All it contained was an I.O.U.

[vetran]

My wife told me she's been a closet lesbian all these years and she wishes she had married another woman.

Coincidence or what?

[vetran]

I went to a rave with my deaf friend.

It was slightly uncomfortable.

He kept thinking I was talking to him but I was just dancing.

[BrilloPad]

I only want 2 things in a woman

My tongue and my todger.

[BrilloPad]

My wife gives sound advice.

99% sound. 1% advice.