Whinging dear wife

[vwdan]

(Says the 3 nights away from home contractor whose partner is a gem, whom I miss greatly..)

I actually think staying away does our relationship good as it forces us to really make the most of weekends and days off etc

[d000hg]

Please take time to consider exactly where your marriage is going. Is your wife really the right person for you?. You seem like a guy who wants to work hard to have a better than average life style (heck like most of us here), well you can't do that unless your partner is fully on board , and that includes her accepting that at times you simply won't be around. If she can't accept that, and you want a certain standard of living then it seems there is a fundamental incompatibility between the two of you that needs to be addressed.

Yes, obviously it's the wife's fault.

OTOH, maybe he should put his wife first. Of course he might be doing this TO put her first in his head but you have to work out what SHE considers to be important, not decide for her.

Another option is to stay away a couple of nights so that you don't begrudge having to drive home, but get to enjoy the time you do spend there. Going home just for the sake of it isn't necessarily the best option.

[TheFaQQer]

There is only one solution to this, configure your router to block mumsnet completely. You will then see a marked improvement in your relationship.

I think I'd be more worried about her access to tinder, fetlife and tumblr to be honest...

[sirja]

Yes, obviously it's the wife's fault.

OTOH, maybe he should put his wife first. Of course he might be doing this TO put her first in his head but you have to work out what SHE considers to be important, not decide for her.

Another option is to stay away a couple of nights so that you don't begrudge having to drive home, but get to enjoy the time you do spend there. Going home just for the sake of it isn't necessarily the best option.

I've never said it's his wife fault. All I am saying is that they both need to question exactly what they want. Some people want a certain STANDARD of life and some want a certain QUALITY of life. I've come to see that the 2 are not always the same, that's why it's important for them to communicate and determine if they want the same things.

[vetran]

Mrs V had a moan this weekend as I had a final test for a data load and on Friday one of the grown ups changed all the parameters and I had to rewrite and re test all the extracts, Sunday morning was hunched over a computer. Ishe had other things planned which I couldn't do.

now we had words and it was all resolved in minutes now if you can't get to that you have a problem. Key thing is to get her to understand is that your work life underpins her lifestyle.

If she wants to change it she either needs to get a job that pays enough that you can take a less demanding job or she cuts her cloth so she can live on what you can earn locally. Mrs V sometimes forgets this.

Either that or she needs to make it work, that's her part of the partnership.

[eek]

Mrs V had a moan this weekend as I had a final test for a data load and on Friday one of the grown ups changed all the parameters and I had to rewrite and re test all the extracts, Sunday morning was hunched over a computer. Ishe had other things planned which I couldn't do.

now we had words and it was all resolved in minutes now if you can't get to that you have a problem. Key thing is to get her to understand is that your work life underpins her lifestyle.

If she wants to change it she either needs to get a job that pays enough that you can take a less demanding job or she cuts her cloth so she can live on what you can earn locally. Mrs V sometimes forgets this.

Either that or she needs to make it work, that's her part of the partnership.

This but also

Another option is to stay away a couple of nights so that you don't begrudge having to drive home, but get to enjoy the time you do spend there. Going home just for the sake of it isn't necessarily the best option.

This as I do it when working in Leeds. Its commutable but the drive by the time you add on the road works makes it hard work. A day or 2 where you can work late (keep client happy) and have a lie in while also getting in earlier means you can leave that little bit earlier on the other days having had a decent nights kip the day before...

And if you shop around and ask directly you can often get places for peanuts when you take into account the fuel savings, a travelodge in Leeds was max £20 a night above what the fuel cost)..

Yes I'm renowned as a cheapstake when staying away by myself for a single night.

[DaveB]

.

(Says the 3 nights away from home contractor whose partner is a gem, whom I miss greatly..)

WCS + 1 (and the rest)

[FatLazyContractor]

(Says the 3 nights away from home contractor whose partner is a gem, whom I miss greatly..)

Guess that's the plus point for your partner?

[mudskipper]

IIRC, his wife is unwell, making staying away not an option.

[original PM]

IIRC, his wife is unwell, making staying away not an option.

well that probably makes things different...

the OP seemed to make out she was a bit of a whining gold digga.