Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I've just had a sneak preview of one of the forthcoming episodes of Doctor Who where the doctor has to save the human race from a gender confused Dalek who doesn't want to exterminate humans. Instead it wants to go shopping for handbags and shoes and have it's weapon replaced with a nice little glove box to store makeup in. The BBC say it's the best episode ever and want to show everyone that anything can be anything they choose.

The majority of the BBC of course, choose to be paedophiles.

[vetran]

Just before I have sex, I always get dizzy.

I probably should get a pump for this blow up doll.

[vetran]

I've just purchased four suits for £1.

I bought a deck of cards.

[vetran]

Me and the missus went to a Tudor themed fancy dress, wearing black balaclavas, deeley boppers and black and yellow scarves.

As Henry the 8th's two wives that were "Bee headed".

[vetran]

Why do mice have such small balls?

Because very few of them know how to dance.

[vetran]

Eddie redmayne apologises for playing the role of a trans gender person in a film as the trans community feels that the role should've been filled out by someone who was actually trans.

I wonder if serial killers feel the same way when watching horrors.

[vetran]

Prince Andrews diary has just been made public.

His last entry was thirteen years old.

[vetran]

Thank god. I’ve finally reached the age, where I can pretend to be hard of hearing with my wife...

[WTFH]

A Cowboy walks into a German car dealership and says:
“Audi”

[vetran]

I was trekking through the lake district, so far out that when I looked around there was no one to be seen when I stumbled across a load of TV controllers just scattered around everywhere.

It was a remote area.