Reply to: Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Gary Numan is actually 13 days older than Gary Oldman.

[vetran]

Why do farts smell?

For the benefit of the deaf

[vetran]

Panto worthy

My friend sells words from the dictionary.
I got 'noteworthy' and 'notice' for cheap as they were next to nothing.

[vetran]

A general assumption regarding bed sheets is still a blanket statement.

[vetran]

"Ready or not--here I come!"
Jane loved hide-and-seek, but the sex was disappointing.

[vetran]

Prince Andrew says he's in favour of pulling out of ECHR.

Although he can't remember for the life of him which schoolgirls' initials they were.

[vetran]

Name six Wimmin footballers ? Nope ?
Name six atomic elements from the periodic table?

See, you're closer to being a scientist than you first thought!

[vetran]

I'm developing a biblical game in which the player controls Adam.
It's a first-person game.

[Paddy]

My friend falsely accused me of taking his thesaurus; I was upset, distraught, troubled, worried, apprehensive, fearful.

[vetran]

It was so cold yesterday that my computer froze.

I suppose it's my own fault though.

I left too many windows open.

[vetran]

Lisa Marie Presley died of Bowel Obstruction.
The last thing she said to her Doctor was...
"A little less constipation, a little more action, please."

[vetran]

The American flag on the moon is completely white from radiation.

France have now claimed they put it there.

[vetran]

Talking to a mate at work, he said, 'what rhymes with orange?',.

I said no it doesn?t!

[vetran]

Sarah Jessica Parker and her husband havent spent a single night apart in 31 years.

Poor bastard. Waking up every morning must be like that scene in The Godfather.

[vetran]

Strike the pose!

The one where you're bent over the toilet