Does anyone know what cockney rhyming slang used before Scooby-Doo came along because I haven't got a...
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
I'm in line for a promotion and huge pay rise at the Ministry of Defence where I work, after finally perfecting the invisibility suit.
Well they think I have, I've just not turned up for three weeks.Comment
-
What if porn had commercials. '" Don't bust that nut yet, we'll be right back after a short message about erectile dysfunction'".Comment
-
Who are the most optimistic people in the world ?
People who eat Cadbury's chocolate , They're glass-and-a half full.Comment
-
I have a soft spot for the wife, it's a peat bog just outside Ardross.
PS Found that while Googling "halfords windscreen wipers"
?bloggoth
If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)Comment
-
Panto quality !
Working in a stem-cell research laboratory, I’ve just crossed a skunk with a goose, and now have a litter of six for sale.
Warning: they don’t half honk.Comment
-
I've been looking all over the Vagina Museum for my wife but I still can't find her.
Last thing she said to me was, "I'm going to the clitoris exhibition."Comment
-
If we don't call the Indian Covid strain Vindaflu, is it even worth talking about it?The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
-
Viagra. It won't make you James Bond but it will make you Roger Moore.bloggoth
If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)Comment
-
Do you know my cousin May?
No, but I'll bear it in mind.
Do you know my Victoria Wood?
No, but I'll bear it in mind.
Do you know Samuel Pepys?
No, but I'll bear it in mind. Next time in the changing room I'll wrap myself in a towel.
(Frank Skinner).Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Taxed on money I haven't earned yet? Bold move, HMRC Jul 17 08:36
- The Fair Work Agency has got zero hours in its sights. Do you? Jul 16 08:44
- Cookie Policy Jul 15 11:50
- Cloned again: an umbrella company founder's warning on fraud, JSL and Companies House Jul 15 07:47
- How is JSL bedding in for contractor umbrella companies, 100 days in? Jul 14 07:45
- IT contractor demand cools in June 2026 amid UK heatwave Jul 13 08:18
- How could zero hours contract reform create unexpected problems for contractors? Jul 8 06:40
- Three Loan Charge conflicts of interest show Labour ministers knew the McCann Review was compromised from the start Jul 7 05:44
- What’s happening with HMRC off-payroll working enforcement? (IR35 update) Jul 6 08:20
- HMRC abandons PGMOL football referees case: Are contractors and IR35 hit? Jul 2 05:09

Comment