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Please put more jokes here

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    My wife has a Rishi Sunak countdown calendar beside the bed and told me it's 18 days.
    I've also noticed that what had turned into an allotment is now being tidied up into a lady garden again.

    She's told me I have to do my bit and help out.
    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

    Comment


      What have Prince Andrew and Manchester City got in common?
      I don't know either but he hopes it's the same lawyer!
      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

      Comment


        What type of drug can you take if you have an allergic reaction to Rowan Atkinson?



        Anti-MisterBeans
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          If a fire alarm business can go up in smoke,

          and a plumbers business can go down the drain,

          can a hooker get laid off?
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            For AtW

            My Turkish kebab shop got closed down when Environmental Health found a mouse.


            Apparently I'd claimed it as "rat" on my ingredients list.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Gary Glitter, Rolf Harris and Jimmy Savile walk into a bar.


              The barman says, 'Sorry, I can't serve you, you're under age.'


              They reply, 'What? But we're pensioners!'


              'Yes, but you're only as old as the women you feel.'
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                Dyslexic lives mattress
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    After months of lockdown, it was great to finally visit a second household and stay over. Unfortunately I was woken up by the Police at two in the morning.
                    Apparently it has to be people you know.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I was struggling with a clogged throat earlier. Coughed really hard and two wooden shoes fell out.
                      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                      Comment

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