• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    how do you get two whales in a mini?

    down the M4

    Comment


      Originally posted by BR14 View Post
      how do you get two whales in a mini?

      down the M4


      M6, M56, A483, A55. Wales is not just South Wales you know!



      Comment


        Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post


        M6, M56, A483, A55. Wales is not just South Wales you know!



        Shirley it depends on where you start? But leaving civilisation on the A4/M4 towards the sticks seems about right.

        Comment


          Originally posted by ladymuck View Post
          Shirley it depends on where you start? But leaving civilisation on the A4/M4 towards the sticks seems about right.
          Okay. Since everything is London based(I remember that from when I lived there) : -

          M1, M6, M56, A483, A55.

          Comment


            Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
            Okay. Since everything is London based(I remember that from when I lived there) : -

            M1, M6, M56, A483, A55.
            That's better!

            Comment


              I never thought I would go up to a bank teller with a mask on and ask for money...

              Comment


                Originally posted by SallyAnne View Post
                A beautiful, woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

                After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

                "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."

                "That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.

                "Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer. "Correct," replied the shady doctor.

                Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"

                "Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place."


                boom boom!


                Got the exact example for the proverb "look before you leap"

                Comment


                  I've a really good airplane joke I want to share.


                  ...but I'm afraid it might go over your head.
                  {emotionless greeting}

                  Three Word Slogan

                  Comment


                    Note: this joke was told to me last night during Zoom drinks by one of the senior nurses in the RCN:

                    they’ve just announced the name of the Glasgow Nightingale Hospital...

                    ICU Jimmy
                    {emotionless greeting}

                    Three Word Slogan

                    Comment


                      East Sussex police stopped a herd of giraffe going down Crowborough Hill yesterday.
                      The policeman asked “Is this an essential journey?”
                      The giraffe replied collectively “yes”
                      {emotionless greeting}

                      Three Word Slogan

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X